sorry na ha...

first few lines captured by my eyes today that worthy to live by...
for a strange reason, it reminded me of the nido "i got stinky, i got dirty, but see, i learned" advertisement.

“life is too short. grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. laugh when you can. apologize when you should and let go of what you can change. love deeply and forgive quickly. take chances. give everything but have no regrets… life is too short to be unhappy. you have to take the good from the bad. smile when you’re sad. love what you got. learn from your mistakes but never regret. people change and some things go wrong. but always remember... LIFE goes on”.

it does make a lot of sense indeed.
hope i could observe it more often.

07.08.09

noticed the date today? it’s in series. same with the messages i got from three girl friends… it’s in series.

07. ga by e-mail:

ga, it’s been raining lately and it reminded me of you… but i’m sure sad ka pa rin kasi wala ako sa tabi mo, hehehe! i’m back from singapore 4 months ago. yes, i gave up my career… i need to. i know it’s not the best solution but i just don’t want to complicate things more. oh, well! now here in davao, managing my cousin’s beauty saloon. it’s totally a whole new world. less stress i hope. nga pala, we’re still waiting… already tried friends’ advice pero wala parin talaga eh. BUT still, i won’t take your offer, gago ka! hehe!

who you like I’m gonna be in your whole new world? hmmm… i can be the merchant. "ahh! salam and good evening to you worthy friend. please, please come closer. too close! a little too close. there! welcome to agrabah." namputs! ngayon ka pa ba naman aatras? like what you’ve said before, you just broke your wings, you still have legs to move on.

p.s.: my offer is still valid. hehe!


08. kr thru ym:

hi... we're planning to have our pre-nup pictorial there. pwede ba? sa labas lang naman. kanino kaya pwede mag-paalam? favor please.

wowowow! you really made me laugh! with the warehouse and the sales building on the background? WHAT? sabi ko naman sa’yo di maganda epekto ng drugs sa utak kapag sobra eh! share mo kasi sakin para di ka nasosobrahan. even when you explained the significance, that it’s where you two met and knew each other, still can’t stop myself laughing. i’m not sure if the management will allow, but i’m sorry my crazy friend, i can’t find enough guts to ask permission. baduy kasi nung idea, baka mabatukan lang ako! hehehe! have it on a more secluded and really nice place, please. you won’t regret it.

and another WHAT?! what the hell in the world you got the idea of getting married? i know you already think of it twice. now think a hundred more. a thousand, maybe.

teka, kelan nga ba?


09. mj thru sms:

hi pare! i got my hair curled… hubby’s gift on my birthday. not the telephone-cord-type pero hindi rin sobrang laki ng mga waves. yung tama lang.

i assumed it as an Anne Curtis’ or Marian Rivera’s look but you said it’s not. "ah basta, maganda ako but i won’t let you see my hair!" You quipped.

shoot! i will ask somebody take your picture. and for that, i have all the reason in the world na laitin ka kung para sakin pangit buhok mo! walang iyakan ha :)

OT: how are you and your boss? stay cool ha, wag mo aawayin… kawawa naman.


ladies, i'm glad you still keep in touch. pero di ko pa rin nalilimutan utang n'yo sakin. at parang gusto ko na maningil! :)

spit or swallow?

overheard from a group of crazy college students squeezed in the lrt last night:

girl1: aray! aray!!!! ang bata! ang bata! dahan-dahan lang po, naiipit yung anak ko.

bading1: bruha 'wag ka nga sumigaw... sarado mo bibig mo, baka malaglag yan!

girl2: gaga! eh nilunok n'ya kaya sabi n'ya!

bading1: talaga dear... nilulunok mo 'yun?!

girl1: bakit ikaw, hindi?!

girl2: ako niluluwa ko... pero next time try ko rin lunukin...

(hahaha! that made me laugh.)

blah! blah! blah! and more blah!

they're chitchatting at louder than normal voice...
teasing each other.
surely annoying to some (especially if they know what they are talking about),
but i think lot of us also enjoyed that late night trip with them.

i'm getting used to it

i don’t have a short attention span, just…
OH, LOOK A TIGER!

that’s how you ended up the conversation.
leaving me confused.
amazed.
as always, you're so good on making excuses.

ride on your gondola boat in venice

for the 3rd time this month,
i sighted a rainbow this morning.

what a wonderful sight!

sabi nga nila...

"mas madaling hulihin
ang manok na nakatali"

:)

of girls and cars...

having a custom car is like having a lady at your side. she also empties your wallet and also makes you feel good when you ride her.

- lugs

ganito lang yan e, masarap ang may kotse. kase di umaangal, kahit saan mo dalhin, hindi ka niya mapipigil. maari minsan magtatampo pag nasisira, pero madali ayusin. pero minsan ang babae, suskopo! napakahirap makipag ayos, minsan di mo pa alam ano ang kailangan ayusin, yun bang palalabasin na insensitive ka. pero iba rin ang happiness pag magkasama kayo ng babae. in short, masarap merong kotse at babae..

- peace man

a real man cares for his mitsu the way he would take care of a lady and still remember to care for the lady more than a car. the power and beauty of a guys ride is a preview of how great lover he is.

- eX-Driver

summer '09

summer time and it seems the sun is on vacation too.
perfect! unlike many others, i'm enjoying the weather... and hoping it'll last until June.

+ + + + +

as usual, mountaineering is at peak during this season. unfortunately, climbing Halcon is still prohibited and its reopening is unclear. considered as the most strenuous mountain in the country, it has been a measure of a certified pinoy mountaineer. to the young bloods out there, aspiring to reach Shaldang... pray hard that it would be open next year!

+ + + + +

last night, i finally declined the Guiting-guiting climb invites. it’s been on my list for a long time but i have to accept that i’m not physically (and mentally) prepared and ready to explore G2 for lack of training. running 5K for the last few weekends is not enough to deal with boulders and steep and loose trail. also, i don’t have any major climb since 2003 making my confidence level very low. and my left knee injury, from a bad fall in Banahaw last 2001, is still punishing me. well, see you at Majo’s peak maybe next year.

my friends list minus you

for us to stay as friends
the deal is:
i can't see you,
i can't talk to you,
and can't be anywhere near you.

i made up my mind...
i dropped you from my list.

lego

"tirahin moko...
tirahin kita...
magtirahan tayong lahat!

pano tayo makakabuo
kung hindi tayo magpapatong?"

-lego

ilang araw na lang,
birthday ko na ulit...
pero mula pagkabata
wala pang nagbigay ng pangarap kong regalo.

sana ngayon na.

xiii

happy friday the 13th!!!
the first for 2009.

i feel lucky today :)

Pebrero

a reminder to all the ladies out there...
happy February!

Girl meets boy.
Girl likes boy.
Girl goes out with boy.
Girl spends night with boy.
Girl winds up with an unplanned pregnancy.

Sounds familiar? Sadly, this scenario has been played out one too many times. Studies have shown that the number of unplanned pregnancy has steadily risen in recent years. Women accidentally conceiving, caught in a difficult situation, faced with tough decisions. It may be that she isn’t ready nor prepared to be a mom yet, whether mentally, financially, or emotionally. Or she might be ready, but her partner isn’t. It may also be that it was a casual one-night-stand and a baby would not fit anywhere in the grand scheme of things. Truth is, it may be a lot of things.

Forget the unreliable practice of letting your partner supply his own stash of protection. Take the matter into your own hands – when you’re in the mood, you better be good. If you’re not prepared, then delay sex. Because the reality is, all it takes is one careless encounter, and everything will change. Is that really a risk worth taking?

Embrace your sexuality. Enjoy life, experience life, and everything it has to offer. Just remember to be safe. Live life to the fullest. And with utmost care. Never get into a situation unprepared and unprotected. That little sensibility will go a long way into ensuring you have a good future ahead. And a baby, a family of your own, at the right time in your life. Not a single second earlier.

***Source: Frenzy condom ads.

alembong

"coz i love her with all that i am
and my voice shakes along with my hands
cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
but i'd rather be here than on land
yes she's all that i see and she's all that i need
and i'm out of my league once again"

to my dearest friend, and at times-worst enemy.
to my loving wife,
who taught me how to fly...

happy 30th birthday!

friday

first friday of the year.
nothing's special.

but this 2009,there will be 3 fridays
falling on the 13th day of the month.
yes, 3 times!
last year it falls only once.
and again, 1 time by 2010.

i'm not superstitious,
but i always look forward and excited of that day.
can't explain why.

for some, they see friday the 13th the irony of life.

akemashite omedeto gozaimasu!

every end of a chapter in our life carries the promise of a new beginning. just when the caterpillar thought its life was over, it became a butterfly and was given wings with which to fly. so when things don't come up to our expectations, do not fret or panic. it is just the finished chapter, and the new one is just about to unfold. smile as the new chapter begins and look up to another new beginning...

welcome 2009!

***

New Beginning
Tracy Chapman

The whole worlds broke and it aint worth fixing
Its time to start all over, make a new beginning
Theres too much pain, too much suffering
Lets resolve to start all over make a new beginning
Now dont get me wrong - I love life and living
But when you wake up and look around at everything thats going down -
All wrong
You see we need to change it now, this world with too few happy endings
We can resolve to start all over make a new beginning

Start all over

The world is broken into fragments and pieces
That once were joined together in a unified whole
But now too many stand alone - theres too much separation
We can resolve to come together in the new beginning

Start all over

We can break the cycle - we can break the chain
We can start all over - in the new beginning
We can learn, we can teach
We can share the myths the dream the prayer
The notion that we can do better
Change our lives and paths
Create a new world and

Start all over

The whole worlds broke and it aint worth fixing
Its time to start all over, make a new beginning
Theres too much fighting, too little understanding
Its time to stop and start all over
Make a new beginning

Start all over

We need to make new symbols
Make new signs
Make a new language
With these well define the world

And start all over
Start all over
Start all over
Start all over ...

and they live happily, ever, after...

today, i've got an out of office auto-reply saying:

Dear Sender,

Thank you for your email.
I will be out of office until January 2,
please note that during these times I will not have access to my mails.

Should you need assistance regarding... blah.. blah.. blah..

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

that long?
is she getting married?
i guess...
whatever her plans, i wish her happiness, faith, and love.

business card

Unexpectedly, I received a pack of my own business card on my third company last week. And it reminded me of the business card 7 years ago from a girl I met in a bar. Over the weekend I dig up my old stuffs looking for the card and was fortunate enough to find it.

In front it reads:

No Name
No Business
No Address
No Phone
No Money

And the back reads:

Any chance to crawl in the dark with you tonight?
If so, just keep the card.
If not, kindly return it because they are expensive.

I am not as good as I once was.
But I’m good once as I ever was!

P.S. You don’t have to say yes, just smile!

****
Obviously, I keep it...

coffee break

cup #1: 'tara, kape tayo!
cup #2: sige, puno pa ako eh...

ouch...

Wednesday evening 12/21

Dearest *******,

It’s so difficult to know how and where to begin. I’ve been thinking long and hard through many ideas trying to find a way…
I finally struck one little thought, a musical metaphor, through which I have been able to think clearly and find understanding, if not satisfaction, and I want to share it with you. So please bear with me while we have yet another music lesson.
The most commonly used form for large classical works is sonata form. It is the basis of almost all symphonies and concertos. It consists of three main sections: the exposition or opening, in which little ideas, themes, bits and pieces are set forth and introduced to each other; the development, in which these tiny ideas and motifs are explored to their fullest, expanded, often go from major (happy) to minor (unhappy) and back again, and are developed and woven together in greater complexity until at last there is: the recapitulation, in which there is a restatement, a glorious expression of the full, rich maturity to which the tiny ideas have grown through the development process.

How does this apply to us, you may ask, if you haven’t already guessed.

I see us stuck in the never-ending opening. At first, it was the real thing, and sheer delight. It is the part of a relationship in which you are at your best: fun, charming, excited, exciting, interesting, interested. It is a time when you’re most comfortable and most lovable because you do not feel the need to mobilize your defenses, so your partner gets to cuddle a warm human being instead of a giant cactus. It is a time of delight for both, and it’s no wonder you like openings so much you strive to make your life a series of them.

But beginnings cannot be prolonged endlessly; they cannot simply state and restate and restate themselves. They must move on and develop – or die of boredom. Not so, you say. You must get away, have changes, other people, other places so you can come back to a relationship as if it were new, and have constant new beginnings.

We moved on to a protracted series of reopenings. Some were caused by business separations that were necessary, but unnecessarily harsh and severe for two so close as we. Some were manufactured by you in order to provide still more opportunities to return to the newness you so desire.

Obviously, the development section is anathema to you. For it is where you may discover that all you have is a collection of severely limited ideas that won’t work no matter how much creativity you bring to them or – even worse for you – that you have the makings of something glorious, a symphony, in which case there is work to be done: depths must be plumbed, and separate entities carefully woven together, the better to glorify themselves and each other. I suppose it is analogous to that moment in writing when a book idea must be/cannot be run from.

We have undoubtedly gone further than you ever intended to go. And we have stopped far short of what I saw as our next logical and lovely steps. I have seen development with you continually arrested, and have come to believe that we will never make more than sporadic attempts at all our learning potential, our amazing similarities of interest, no matter how many years we may have – because we will never have unbroken time together. So the growth we prize so highly and know is possible becomes impossible.

We have both had a vision of something wonderful that awaits us. Yet we cannot get there from here. I am faced with a solid wall of defenses and you have the need to build more and still more. I long for the richness and fullness of further development, and you will search for ways to avoid it as long as we’re together. Both of us are frustrated; you unable to go back, I unable to go forward, in a constant state of struggle, with clouds and dark shadows over the limited time you allow us.

To feel you constant resistance to me, to the growth of this something wonderful, as if I and it were something horrible – to experience the various forms the resistance takes, some of them cruel – often causes me pain on one level or another.

I have a record of our time together, and have taken a long a honest look at it. It has saddened me, and even shocked me, but it has been helpful in facing the truth. I look back to the days in early July, and the seven weeks that followed, as our only truly happy period. That was the opening, and it was beautiful. Then there were the separations with their fierce and, to me, inexplicable cutoffs – and the equally fierce avoidance-resistance on your returns.

Away and apart or together and apart, it is too unhappy. I am watching me become a creature who cries a lot, a creature who even must cry a lot, for it almost seems that pity is necessary before kindness is possible. And I know I have not come this far in life to become pitiful.

To be told that canceling your date to help me when I was in a state of crisis “wouldn’t work for you” brought the truth crushing down on me with the force of an avalanche. Facing facts as honestly as I can, I know I cannot continue, no matter how much I might wish to do so; I cannot bend further.

I hope you will not see this as the breaking of an agreement, but rather the continuation of the many, many endings you have begun. I think it is something we both know must be. I accept that I have failed in my effort to let you know the joys of caring.

*******, my precious friend, this is said softly, even tenderly and lovingly. And the soft tones do not camouflage an underlying anger: they are real. There are no accusations, no blames or faults. I am simply trying to understand, and to stop the pain. I am starting what I have been forced to accept: that you and I are never going to have a development, much less the glorious climactic expression of a relationship grown to full blossom.
I have felt if anything in my life deserved departure from previously established patterns, going beyond all known limitations, this relationship did. I suppose I might be justified in feeling humiliated about the lengths to which I have gone to make it work. Instead, I feel proud of myself and glad to know I recognized the rare and lovely opportunity we had while we had it, and gave all I could, in the purest and highest sense, to preserve it. I am comforted by this now. In this awful moment of ending, I can honestly say I do not know of one other thing I might do to get us to that beautiful future we could have had.

Despite the pain, I’m happy to have known you in this special way, and will always treasure the time we’ve had together. I have grown with you, and learned much from you, and I know I have made major positive contributions to you. We are both better people for having touched one another.

At this late juncture, is occurs to me that a chess metaphor might also be useful. Chess is a game in which each party has its own singular objective even as it engages the other; a mid-game in which a struggle develops and intensifies and bits and pieces of each side are lost, both sides diminished; an end-game in which one traps and paralyzes the other.

I think you see life as a chess game; I see it as a sonata. And because of these differences, both the king and the queen are lost, and the song is silenced.

I am still your friend, as I know you are mine. I send this with a heart full of the deep and tender love and high regard you know I have for you, as well as profound sorrow that an opportunity so filled with promise, so rare and so beautiful, had to go unfulfilled.

(signed)
******

1 message received

Date 07:10:2008
Time 7:20 am
Type Text message

"Walang masama kung gusto mong lisanin ang barkong sa tingin mo'y palubog na. Basta't wag mo lang hahagisan ng anumang pabigat ang barko habang pinagsusumikapan itong isalba ng ibang tao."
~Bob Ong

magandang umaga. :)

napakaganda ng kahulugan.

ngunit mas higit na maganda ang alaala na naglaro sa aking isipan.. na dumagdag pa sa kagandahan ng umaga.